The last few days have been "positive" and encouraging! I wanted to see if my results got darker as my possible pregnancy progressed. My boobs were definitely feeling more sensitive and full (I've felt that before so I took it with a grain if salt). And I wasn't cramping as much as I did with my misarriage. I didn't spot at all so that was the biggest relief. I took tests every day or two, and each one got consecutively darker, all through 20 dpo. The last one was darker than the control line so that was awesome!! The nausea and extreme exhaustion was definitely a new symptom. My temps also rose to 98.2 and have stayed there consistently which is good.
This pregnancy is already feeling a lot more real than my last one. I'm starting to get more excited but I don't want to get my hopes up too high until I hear/see a heartbeat. I scheduled my intake appointment for April 2nd and the ultrasound April 23rd. Very exciting!! I emailed the dr who dealt with my miscarriage if I could take an hcg test just to make sure that my levels were normal. The first was 2156 and I take another test on April 1st. If they double, then I'll be in pretty good shape!!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Surprising results
So this cycle was super ambiguous this month and it was definitely a huge source of stress for me. It definitely contributed to my break down at my Drs office. The reason why it was such a source of frustration was I wasn't sure when/if I ovulated. Usually my preovulatory temps are about 97.2/97.3 but this cycle it was around 97.6. Strange for me. So when my temp dipped to 96.8, I figured it was my ovulation date. Much to my dismay, when my temp shifted, they hovered at 97.6 still!!! This happened for about 4 days. I also had EWCM. I was so confused!! I didn't know what to think! I figured Brad and I were screwed this cycle and we were gonna wait this next cycle to avoid a Christmas baby.
For the next 5-6 days, my temp went up to 97.9 so that made me feel a lot better. That at the least insisted that I was ovulating. This would be helpful information for my OB when my appointment time came around.
A couple days after that, my temp rose a little higher. On Saturday, march 21st, Brad and I were doing work in the garage and I started feeling a little gross. I don't know what compelled me, but I thought to myself "just for fun, I'm gonna take a pregnancy test". I had no expectation but I thought it would be fun. So I POAS and no sooner did I flush and wash my hands did I see a light pink line in the positive part of the test!!! Although admittedly it was light, it was still darker than any other test I've ever taken of that brand. I was super surprised and happy! I went to Brad and showed him. He was surprised too and said- we'll see what happens! I don't blame him based on what happened when I miscarried. We are both being very cautious and not telling ANYONE until the ultrasound.
The miscarriage was was really hard on the moms when it happened and although they wanted to be supportive, I think it was worse for them than it was for me. I don't want to put them through that again so I'd rather take the risk and potentially deal with another miscarriage on my own. Based on the date of my pregnancy test I calculated that I did in fact ovulate on march 9th when my temp dipped. I'm not sure why my preovulatory temps were so high but as long as I'm pregnant, I don't really care!! That means that I'm 12 days dpo. That would give me an EDD of November 30th. This is also the earliest positive I had. When I miscarried, my definite positive test was 16 dpo. The ones before that were squinters. This new one definitely was not!! I guess we will have to see what the future hold for us!!
For the next 5-6 days, my temp went up to 97.9 so that made me feel a lot better. That at the least insisted that I was ovulating. This would be helpful information for my OB when my appointment time came around.
A couple days after that, my temp rose a little higher. On Saturday, march 21st, Brad and I were doing work in the garage and I started feeling a little gross. I don't know what compelled me, but I thought to myself "just for fun, I'm gonna take a pregnancy test". I had no expectation but I thought it would be fun. So I POAS and no sooner did I flush and wash my hands did I see a light pink line in the positive part of the test!!! Although admittedly it was light, it was still darker than any other test I've ever taken of that brand. I was super surprised and happy! I went to Brad and showed him. He was surprised too and said- we'll see what happens! I don't blame him based on what happened when I miscarried. We are both being very cautious and not telling ANYONE until the ultrasound.
The miscarriage was was really hard on the moms when it happened and although they wanted to be supportive, I think it was worse for them than it was for me. I don't want to put them through that again so I'd rather take the risk and potentially deal with another miscarriage on my own. Based on the date of my pregnancy test I calculated that I did in fact ovulate on march 9th when my temp dipped. I'm not sure why my preovulatory temps were so high but as long as I'm pregnant, I don't really care!! That means that I'm 12 days dpo. That would give me an EDD of November 30th. This is also the earliest positive I had. When I miscarried, my definite positive test was 16 dpo. The ones before that were squinters. This new one definitely was not!! I guess we will have to see what the future hold for us!!
Monday, March 29, 2010
My Dr appt breakdown
A couple weeks ago I had an appointment with my endocrinologist. I see her periodically to check my thyroid levels and she is aware of us trying to have a baby. My cycles are between 32 and 42 days long and that can be really frustrating. I sought her guidance to see if there was anything that could be done and make sure it wasn't related to my thyroid. She said that my thyroid levels looked fine and didn't think they were related. She asked how my weight was doing and I pretty much just broke down in her office. It was so embarrasing- I had no reason to be crying like that. I explained to her the stress I was under with work and the whole reproductive issues and the fact that no matter what I seemed to do from a weightloss standpoint it didn't seem to help. I know I could be doing better but I wish there was an easier solution. She asked if I wanted to see a dietician and I agreed. She also stated that I should see the OB to see what could be done about my long cycles. With that, I felt hopeless but was at the same time, hopeful for some answers. My OB appt was sched for April 13th.
If at first you don't conceive....
So.... My first pregnancy ended very abruptly on my 5 week 6 day marker. It started with some spotting at work followed by a visit to Urgent Care. I had a low grade fever- something I think manifested due to the stress of the impending doom... I was seen by a Sports Medicine Dr who didn't seem too confident about the whole situation. He did a visual exam and said he didn't see any signs of infection and that my cervix was closed, which was a good sign. I asked him to see if I could schedule an appt with OB just to make sure everything was ok. As my mom and I were walking out of the room, the nurse asked me which test I used because it took a really long time for my test results to show a positive. DEFINITELY not a good sign for a pregnancy that's supposed to be almost 6 weeks along. At that point I knew what was going to happen the next day at my OB appt. I took a blood test to get my hcg levels.
When I woke up the next day, my spotting had stopped, so I was a little more positive about my appointment later that day. I swear it was minutes before my appointment when I started getting some very strong cramping and I went to the restroom to find that my spotting had turned to bleeding- then I knew it was over. I went with my mom and asked her to drive because the cramping was getting VERY strong. The nurses ushered us right in and we were seen by a really nice and understanding Dr. He did an ultrasound and saw that there was no embryo- leading me to conclude that it was a chemical pregnancy. I also got my blood levels back. 152. I'm done for. The Dr was very sweet and tried his best to console me. I cried and then went to my mom's to complete the miscarriage process. Brad had to work through this whole thing, unfortunately. The miscarriage was EXTREMELY painful. I wished I could just run away but I couldn't. Luckily the cramps only lasted a couple hours and the bleeding, a few days. I have to say that deep down inside I think I always knew something wasn't right. Between the spotting, the non-symptoms besides the cramping and the only positive test being 16dpo, I knew it wasn't supposed to be that forced. It was an extremely difficult process but knowing that it was so early gives me a little more peace of mind and helps with any guilt I may have.
I this whole process has made me lose my pregnancy "innocence" as the support group members always post. I know that early testing increases the chance of knowing when you have a chemical pregnancy instead of just thinking I was a period. At least I know we can get pregnant. That's the most important part. The pressure to get pregnant has lightened up, however, since all of my friends and family know we are going to wait a few cycles to try again. Now we can kind of relax and regroup. We will be successful soon!
When I woke up the next day, my spotting had stopped, so I was a little more positive about my appointment later that day. I swear it was minutes before my appointment when I started getting some very strong cramping and I went to the restroom to find that my spotting had turned to bleeding- then I knew it was over. I went with my mom and asked her to drive because the cramping was getting VERY strong. The nurses ushered us right in and we were seen by a really nice and understanding Dr. He did an ultrasound and saw that there was no embryo- leading me to conclude that it was a chemical pregnancy. I also got my blood levels back. 152. I'm done for. The Dr was very sweet and tried his best to console me. I cried and then went to my mom's to complete the miscarriage process. Brad had to work through this whole thing, unfortunately. The miscarriage was EXTREMELY painful. I wished I could just run away but I couldn't. Luckily the cramps only lasted a couple hours and the bleeding, a few days. I have to say that deep down inside I think I always knew something wasn't right. Between the spotting, the non-symptoms besides the cramping and the only positive test being 16dpo, I knew it wasn't supposed to be that forced. It was an extremely difficult process but knowing that it was so early gives me a little more peace of mind and helps with any guilt I may have.
I this whole process has made me lose my pregnancy "innocence" as the support group members always post. I know that early testing increases the chance of knowing when you have a chemical pregnancy instead of just thinking I was a period. At least I know we can get pregnant. That's the most important part. The pressure to get pregnant has lightened up, however, since all of my friends and family know we are going to wait a few cycles to try again. Now we can kind of relax and regroup. We will be successful soon!
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